


It's Christmas Time in the City

by writingsrus



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:47:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27928513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingsrus/pseuds/writingsrus
Summary: I've had a lot of Christmas one-shot ideas, so I decided I'd compile them together on here! Each one-shot will be based off of a Christmas/Holiday song. I will be trying to post one everyday, but I can't make any promises.
Relationships: Rafael Barba & Noah Porter Benson, Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson
Comments: 25
Kudos: 58





	1. Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)

**Author's Note:**

> This first one-shot is based on "Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)" by Mariah Carey. This is set the Christmas after 19×13.

_"The snow's coming down, I'm watching it fall, lots of people around, baby, please come home."_

Olivia had always enjoyed Christmas, she loved decorating her apartment, baking cookies with her son, spending time with her honorary family, and just all of the joy that came with Christmas. But this year felt different, she knew what was missing. Christmas was three days away, and all she wanted was for her best friend to come home. 

Olivia stood by the window, watching as snow fell outside and covered the sidewalks, she knew Noah would have the time of his life playing in it in the coming days. Her squad was at her house for their annual Christmas gathering. She could hear everyone talking and mingling, while Christmas music played lightly from the Bluetooth speaker on her counter. It was all great, she truly was thankful for everyone that was there, but for the past six years she had celebrated with the arrogant ADA who had quickly grown on her. She missed him more than anything, sure, they had talked every now and then, but it wasn't the same as having him there. 

_"They're singing 'Deck The Halls', but it's not like Christmas at all, cause I remember when you were here, and all the fun we had last year."_

'Deck The Halls' was the song currently playing, and she laughed as she listened to her friends sing along, but way off key. Noah and Jesse danced around in the living room, and Olivia thought back to the year before when Rafael had danced Noah around the living room while listening to music, Noah had laughed as his favorite 'Uncle' led him in the dance, and Olivia had managed to capture a few pictures. She missed that, and she'd give so much to have another one of those moments. 

She pulled out her phone and snapped a picture of Noah dancing with Jesse, she immediately sent it to Rafael.

**O: Squad Christmas party, not the same without you. Noah's dancing again, he definitely learned all his moves from you. I hope you're enjoying your Christmas, Rafa.**

She sent the message and couldn't peel her eyes from her phone as she waited for his response. 

**R: Good memories, I miss you all, glad you're having a good time. Tell Noah I'm proud of him. Merry Christmas, Liv. I'll call you on Christmas day if that's ok?**

**O: Sounds good. Skype? Noah would love to see you.**

**R: Skype, it is then.**

Olivia slipped her phone back into her pocket, just as Rollins wandered over to her. "You've spent most of the time over here. You ok?" She asked, Liv nodded, but her detective could tell that something was wrong. And it wasn't just today. Ever since February, Liv had been different, it was like a piece of her was missing. Rollins had never suspected that Barba was what was missing, but now that the idea was in her mind, it didn't seem too far fetched. She knew the pair had always been rather close, but she didn't realize how connected they were. She had a feeling there were some unresolved feelings in that relationship. 

"Just thinking." Liv replied.

"About Barba?" Rollins guessed, to which her boss just sighed. Bingo. 

"I just want him to come back to New York, that's all." 

_"Party lights on the tree, I'm watching them shine, you should be here with me, baby, please come home."_

Olivia looked over at her Christmas trees admiring the colorful lights and festive ornaments, but she couldn't help but think about how nice it'd be to sit on the couch with Rafael, his arm wrapped around her as they admired the tree together. He should've been there with her. She understood more than anyone that it was important for the sake of his mental health to get out of the city, but she selfishly wished he'd just come back home already, so that they could spend Christmas together, finally cross that imaginary line they'd been toeing for years.

She was pulled from her thoughts when the doorbell rang. The only other person she had invited was Peter Stone, and she was desperately hoping he hadn't changed his mind and decided to join them. She walked over to the door and pulled it open, gasping at the sight in front of her. The man she'd been wishing for all night. Rafael Barba. "Rafa." The nickname slipped from her lips before she threw herself into his arms. He laughed as he wrapped his arms around her lower back, holding her close. "You were on your way when I texted!" She exclaimed and he just laughed as she ushered him inside. 

"Had to keep the surprise. Hope I'm not crashing." He said, sheepishly. She laughed, taking his coat to hang it up. 

"You're always more than welcome." Liv said, just as her son noticed who had just arrived. The curly haired boy immediately bolted for the man, jumping into his arms. 

"Uncle Rafa, you came home for Christmas!!" He exclaimed, snuggling close to the man. The squad watched as their boss and her son reacted to the appearance of their former ADA. They hadn't suspected Barba to be so good with kids, but as he walked around the apartment with Noah, he looked like a natural, and Noah was obviously comfortable with the man, the sometimes shy boy was currently to talking his ear off. And the way Liv's smile grew didn't go unnoticed by anyone in her squad. 

He had made it home for Christmas, and after the squad had left and she cuddled up with Rafael on her couch, she couldn't help but think this, _he_ , was a Christmas miracle. 


	2. You Make It Feel Like Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one-shot is based off the song 'You Make It Feel Like Christmas' by Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton. It takes place Christmas of 2019, out favorite couple has been together for about six months, this is the first Christmas they're spending as a couple.

_"I want to thank the storm that brought the snow, thanks to the string of lights that make it glow."_

The first week of December had brought quite the snow storm to New York. They were all trapped inside their houses as the weather predicted at least a foot of snow. Noah had off school because of the snow, so they had decided to use the day to decorate their Christmas tree. Rafael had spent the night the night before and was now stuck with them as the roads were much too messy to be driving on, not that Olivia was complaining. They had been together for half a year now, and her attachment to him was growing everyday. She wanted to decorate the tree with Rafael, she wanted to experience everything with him. And she knew her son felt the same way, Noah was currently seated with him at the kitchen bar, both of them sipping hot chocolate. 

"Rafa, are you gonna help us decorate the tree?" Noah asked, slurping the last of his hop chocolate, succeeding in getting the hot chocolate mustache he desired. 

Rafael laughed, leaning forward to wipe the boy's face. "Well, it's too snowy for me to go back home, so you're stuck with me."

"I'm glad, I don't want you to leave." Noah admitted, wrapping his arms around Rafael for a quick hug. Rafael hugged him back, smiling over at Olivia. 

_"It barely took a breath to realize, we're gonna be a classic for all time."_

Olivia smiled and knew in that moment that Rafael belonged there with them. His was it for her, she wanted to be with him for all time. Her world got slightly dimmer when he left to home, so she was thankful for the snow that kept him there with them. The truth was that he'd probably stay without the snow, but for some reason, Olivia couldn't gain the nerve to ask him to stay. 

Noah released Rafael from the hug and ran off down the hall to his room. That left Rafael to put their mugs in the dishwasher, as he loaded them in he felt arms wrap around his torso. He hummed happily, covering her hands with his. "Hey." She said, pressing a kiss to his shoulder, over the thick material of his green sweater. "You've got that boy wrapped around your finger. He loves you, Rafa." She said, moving away from him to lean against the counter, so that she could see him face. 

"Well I love him and his mother very much." He said, leaning forward to kiss her lightly. She laughed against his lips, pulling away to smiled at him. Noah came back into the main area of the apartment, carrying the box of Christmas decorations. "Duty calls, Olivia." He said, pressing one last kiss to her forehead, before joining her son on the floor of the living room. Together they pulled out the lights, ornaments, and the star to put on top. 

_"I wanna thank you, baby. You make it feel like Christmas."_

Olivia and Rafael took over putting the lights on and then they all worked together to put the ornaments in appropriate places. Then the last thing was the gold star to put on top. Rafael lifted Noah up so he could put the star on top. "All done!" Noah exclaimed, once the star was placed on top. The tree was beautiful, and even though it was the same tree they had used every year, this year it felt different, because Rafael was there to decorate it with them. 

"Thank you." Olivia said as she sat beside him on the couch, admiring the tree.

"For?"

"For being here, for helping, for just being you."

He smiled, "Thank the snow." She slapped his arm and he chuckled pulling her close. 

"In all honesty, this is the only place I want to be." He promised, holding her as they watched Noah run to his room to get something, he came back with an ornament that Olivia hadn't seen before. He brought it to them and handed it to Rafael, she saw the way her son looked more timid than he had a few minutes ago, she pulled him onto her lap and watched as Rafael examined the ornament. 

Rafael turned the ornament over and look at what was painted. At the top, it read 'My Family' and below it was three snowmen made from Noah's fingerprints. Each snowman was labeled under it, he saw the snowman that was supposed to be Olivia labeled 'mommy', the snowman that was Noah labeled 'me', and then when Rafael saw the snowman on the far right, his breath caught in his throat. Under the snowman that was supposed to be him was the label 'daddy'. He set the ornament down and looked over at Noah, and opened his arms for the boy. 

Noah immediately climbed into his lap, wrapping his arms around Rafael's neck. "Is that what you want, Noah?" He asked, just to make sure. He felt the boy not against his neck and Rafael let the tears slip from his eyes, he had never allowed himself to even think that this could be his life, that he could have this. "Then I'd be more than honored to be your dad." 

_"I never thought I'd find a love like this. But I found forever in that very first kiss."_

Olivia watched as Rafael and Noah stood from the couch and walked over to the tree to put the ornament on it. She had given up on love after her break up with Tucker, and then somewhere along the way she fell in love with her ADA, and then he left, and she was heartbroken. But she hadn't prepared herself for what could've happened when he came back. She remembered that night six months ago when he came from Washington D.C, they had shared a drink on her couch, and they shared their first kiss, and from that moment, he was all Olivia had wanted. And now, to see her son make that move to ask him to be his father, gave her the courage to finally tell him that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. Not that he didn't already know that, of course. They had talked about the future many times, before they were even a couple. Squabbling at 85 was still their endgame. 

_"Sweet gingerbread made with molasses, my heart skipped and I reacted, can't believe that this is happening, like a present sent from God."_

"Can we make cookies? I don't want you to cry." Noah asked, and Olivia laughed at her son's attempt to get her to stop crying.

"Happy tears, sweet boy." She assured him. "But, yes, I think we should make cookies. How about Rafa's favorite?" 

"Gingerbread!" Noah exclaimed, running to the kitchen, waiting for the adults to follow him. Rafael walked back over to the couch to help Olivia up. She hugged him tight and he laughed but happily embraced her too. She pulled back and they walked together to the kitchen to help before Noah had molasses everywhere. They made cookies together, willing to make a mess, because it felt like Christmas, and the presence of Rafael felt like a present they had been given. 


	3. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based off of 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus' by Jackson 5! This song is such a classic and I think this concept would be so funny with Barsonoah!

"Liv, seriously, I look absolutely ridiculous." He said, as he walked into the kitchen where Liv was pouring them drinks. He was decked head to toe in a red and white traditional santa costume. A white wig on his head that made him feel more like George Washington. Olivia laughed at the miserable look on his face. Every year the precinct had their annual Christmas party, and every year they hired a Santa Claus to come for the kids, well, this year's santa canceled, and Olivia volunteered her husband, not because he'd enjoy doing it, but more for her own amusement. 

She slid his scotch across the bar to him. "You definitely do." She admitted, sipping her wine, allowing her eyes to travel up his body. "Wait, you're missing the hat!" She grabbed the red and white hat off the couch and shoved it over the wig. 

"Why am I doing this again?"

"For Noah." She knew exactly how to get him to stop complaining. Noah had the man wrapped around his finger and Rafael would do anything for the boy, everyone knew that at this point. Even before the adoption went through and Noah legally became his son, there was no denying the boy anything. He loved him too much. Olivia would say he was spoiling him, but Rafael just wanted to ensure that Noah got the childhood he never got to have. 

"Noah's going to recognize me." 

"You're going to be wearing makeup, a mustache and beard, a wig, and you're putting a pillow under that suit. You didn't eat enough cookies this year, Rafa." She said, tapping his stomach. Olivia had been discussing with the squad how they were going to disguise Rafael so none of the kids would recognize him. They would tell Noah that Rafael wouldn't be able to join them for the party because he had work to do, and he'd be far too in character for Noah to even notice that it was his dad. 

Rafael picked up his scotch and took a sip, allowing the bitter alcohol to slip down his throat, as he tried to convince himself that acting as Santa for a night wouldn't be the worst thing ever. Olivia came over to him, right under the mistletoe, and grabbed his face between her hands. "It's two hours." She assured him, the leaned in close to his ear. "I'll make it up to you when you come home." She nipped his earlobe and he pressed a kiss to the side of her neck. "Somehow you're still sexy as Santa." 

Rafael raised an eyebrow, "You like a man in a suit?" He quipped, a smirk pulling at his lips. 

"No, I like you." She said, leaning forward to kiss the smirk off his lips." They were so engrossed in each other that neither of them noticed their son come down the hallway and stop in his tracks in the living room when he saw the scene in front of him. 

_"I saw mommy kissing santa claus, underneath the mistletoe last night."_

Noah tiptoed back to his room and shut the door, he slipped back under his covers and stared at the ceiling, attempting to comprehend what he'd just witnessed. His mom was kissing Santa! But why was Santa even there, it wasn't Christmas Eve yet, and sheet was his daddy? 

_"She didn't see me creep, down the stairs to have a peep. She thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep."_

He'd gotten out of bed to get a glass of water, but he hadn't prepared for that. He knew that adults kissed when they loved each other, he saw his mommy and daddy kissing all the time, and he knew you weren't supposed to kiss more than one person, so why was his mommy kissing someone else that wasn't his dad. 

_"Oh, what a laugh it would have been, if daddy had only seen, mommy kissing Santa Claus last night!"_

The next morning, the morning of the Christmas party, Noah came into the kitchen. He looked around for Santa but he wasn't there. He did, however, see his dad at the stove making pancakes. "Morning, mijo. Breakfast is almost ready." Rafael said, turning to smile at him. Noah didn't say anything and Rafael found that odd, usually he always wanted to talk, sometimes about a dream he'd had, and sometimes just about anything. But this morning, he was silent. 

At the table, he picked at his pancakes and the adults shared a look. "Noah, are you feeling ok, sweet boy?" Olivia asked, running a hand through his curls, then stopping at his forehead to feel his temperature, he wasn't warm. 

"I'm ok." Was all he said. 

After breakfast, he disappeared into his room without any words. "I'll talk to him." Rafael said, pressing a reassuring kiss to Olivia's head, before walking down the hall to his son's bedroom. He knocked lightly before entering, taking in the sight of the boy curled up on his bed, his trusty stuffed elephant tucked under his arm and close to his chest. "You wanna tell me what's going on?" Rafael asked, sitting on the foot of the bed. Noah shook his head. "You know you can talk to me, Noah. About anything." He promised.

Noah sighed, he didn't want to say anything because he was afraid of what would happen, maybe he would think it was funny, but he could also be mad, and then he'd leave, and Noah would be without a father again. For a five year old, Noah's brain was creating detailed possible scenarios. "If I tell you, you have to pinky promise you won't get mad." He stuck out his pinky, "you can't leave." He finished, wiggling his smallest to finger, waiting for Rafael to finish this swear.

"Noah, you know I'm never leaving. You're my world." 

"Just promise, Papí!" He exclaimed, tears falling from his eyes, he quickly wiped them away. Rafael was taken aback by how upset he sounded. He was confused and he didn't know what had happened to make him think he could ever leave them. "I saw mommy kissing Santa last night." He mumbled and Rafael's eyes went wide.

Shit. 

Noah must've gotten out of bed and they hadn't realized. No wonder he was so on edge this morning. Rafael laughed and Noah looked surprised. "That was me, mijo. Mommy had me try on a costume for fun." He tried to explain without ruining the fact that he still had to dress as Santa at the party that night. Noah slid into Rafael's lap and wrapped his arms around the man's neck. 

"You looked funny as Santa." Noah told him, and Rafael internally groaned. 


	4. That's Christmas To Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based on 'That's Christmas To Me' by Pentatonix.Thank you for the comments and kudos, I love writing Barson Christmas stories. Feel free to leave any Christmas/Holiday songs in the comments for me to write a one-shot about. I hope you're all enjoying these! Writing is definitely holding me over until we see what will happen when Barba returns in January!

_"The fire place is burning bright, shining along me. I see the presents underneath the good old Christmas Tree."_

Noah sat in front of the fire place, sipping a mug of hot chocolate that Lucia had made for him. The adults were in he kitchen making dinner, leaving Noah to lounge in the living room. Christmas Eve was Noah's favorite day. Especially now that Rafael and Lucia got to be there with them.

He set the hot chocolate on the coffee table and laid on his stomach, chin resting on his fists as he admired the elegantly wrapped presents. He tried to figure out what was in each one. He had asked for new Lego sets and he hoped that's what they had gotten for him. The fire crackled, catching Noah's attention. Olivia had offered to turn the TV on for him to watch a Charlie Brown Christmas, but Noah insisted on watching that with all of them, so he was content to watch the fire and drink his hot chocolate. (With the extra marshmallows Rafael had snuck in for him)

"Noah, dinner's ready!" His mother called, and he hopped up and ran to the table, stopping to walk when Rafael lightly scolded him about running by the fire. He slid into his seat beside across from his Abuelita, and she smiled at him as she picked up the knife to cut the turkey. "What do you say, Noah?" Olivia reminded when Lucia had finished filling his plate with the turkey, mashed potatoes, and green beans. 

"Thank you, Lucia!" 

They all enjoyed their meal together, basking in each other's presence. Noah had been used to Christmas only being spent with his mom, but he welcomed this change. He got more presents now anyway. When they were finished eating, Noah helped Rafael carry the dishes to the sink, and then stood on his step stool to dry them as Rafael washed them, this was a routine they had started to make sure Noah helped out with chores around the house, and he was more than willing to do it, especially when he got to do them with Rafa. 

"Look at my favorite boys!" Olivia admonished, pulling the pecan pie out of the fridge for dessert. Rafael leaned back to catch a kiss from Olivia before she moved back into the dining room, she hummed a Christmas tune as she walked away from them. 

* * *

_"I've got this Christmas song in my heart, I've got the candle's glowing in the dark."_

After Noah had been tucked into bed, Lucia took her leave, promising she'd see them the next day. And then Rafael and Olivia were alone. Together, they cleaned up the dining room and kitchen, music playing from Rafael's phone. 'Silver Bells' came on, and Olivia turned to smiled at her boyfriend. He wrapped his arms around her waist, swaying to the beautiful song. She rested her head on his shoulder, loving the feeling of being in his arms. He danced them around the kitchen and she laughed as the song changed to something more upbeat and she tried to keep up with his dancing feet. 

The lights were off, the only light coming from the Christmas tree and the candles that were lit around the apartment. Eventually, Rafael stopped the music, but didn't let Olivia out of his embrace. "What is Christmas to you?" He asked, and she smiled, the question required no thought. 

"All of this. Family." She responded, kissing the corner of his mouth. 

"Me too." He said. "This is the first Christmas I've felt this good. My Christmases as a child were never great, and for my entire adulthood I've spent Christmas Eve in my apartment, my only company being the scotch bottle." He said, and while Olivia knew the end was a joke, she knew there was some truth to it too. 

"I hope I'm better company than the bottle of scotch." 

"Hmm, tough call. Dewar's is quite amazing, but I guess I can't exactly dance with the scotch bottle." He said, running his long fingers through her hair. 

She hummed at the feeling of his fingers on her scalp. "You could try." Olivia teased, and he threw his head back to laugh. Her heart warmed when his nose crinkled as he smiled. She loved that man so much. Every single thing about him was something she could love. 

_"Oh, the joy that fills our hearts and makes us see. Oh, why? Cause that's Christmas to me."_


	5. Baby, It's Cold Outside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, this one's based on 'Baby, It's Cold Outside' the version by Idina Menzel and Michal Bublé. I decided to try my hand at earlier Barson, so this is going to take place during season 14, so they're really not even friends yet. Maybe not as fluffy as the others, but I hope you'll still enjoy!

They were working a case late into the evening, she was seated at the table in his office, he was leaning over her looking at the screen of her laptop. They were trying to find a connection, that was strong enough for court, between their victim and the suspected perp. "Look, they both have pictures from this bar on their Facebook's. Surely they ran into each other at some point." 

"I'm going to need evidence for that. I can't just walk into court and tell the judge that they knew each other because Detective Benson is sure they must have." He deadpanned, walking away from her and back to his desk. He grabbed his glass of scotch and took a sip, leaning back against the hard wood of his desk. 

She rolled her eyes, "I know that, Barba." She really couldn't stand him. He was good at his job, but he really was an asshole sometimes. "I'm just throwing out ideas." She continued to look over their social medias while he paced his office, sipping his scotch all the while. They worked for another hour, finally finding the connection they needed, and then decided to call it a night. "Night, counselor." Olivia said, grabbing her coat and heading toward the door of his office. 

"Detective!" He got her attention, something in him had been intrigued by her all night. She was obviously gorgeous, but it wasn't just that. He wanted to get to know her better. Olivia turned around to look at him, questioningly. "Plans for Christmas?"

"Just staying in."

"You should stop by my place." He offered, and she smirked, confused by his sudden offer to meet outside of work. They had never done that. "I mean, if you want. I'll send you my address, you can think about it." She smiled at him, then turned back around, this time actually leaving his office. 

* * *

On Christmas Eve, Rafael was seated on his couch, feet propped up on his coffee table, watching It's A Wonderful Life. He had completely forgotten about his offer to Olivia until his doorbell rang. He huffed, as he stood up and went to answer the door. "Detective, I didn't think you'd come." He said, now realizing that he was in pajama pants and an old Harvard sweatshirt. She was shivering form being out in the cold, and he immediately felt bad. "Come in, please." He ushered her inside as she pulled her coat off, underneath she was wearing a red sweater with black leggings and he immediately felt completely underdressed. 

"Sorry, I didn't give you a heads up. I figured the offer stills stood." She said as she sat on his couch, smiling when she noticed the classic that was playing. Rafael made his way to the kitchen, taking a moment to appreciate how beautiful she looked. 

"Of course. Wine?" He asked, holding up the bottle of red he had. 

She nodded, then spoke up. "Didn't peg you for a wine person. I only ever see you drink scotch." 

"Only on occasion." He responded, as he poured two glasses of it, coming back into the living room and handing her one. Together, they finished watching the movie, sharing multiple glasses of wine, probably more that they should've. At some point during the movie, Olivia had moved closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder, his arm rested on the couch behind her. She didn't know why she did it, but she did, and he hadn't stopped her, so she let herself rest there. 

By the time the credits rolled, Olivia cleared her throat and sat up, now feeling awkward. He was clearly more relaxed then she was, making no intention to move from their position. "I should go." She said, but he grabbed her hand. 

_"I really can't stay (baby, it's cold outside). I've gotta go away (baby, it's cold outside)._

"Stay for a little while longer. It's freezing out there, Liv." She didn't miss the nickname, he hadn't yet used that. It was always detective with him. She forced herself to believe it was the wine. 

"This evening was great."

"So stay." He grabbed both of her hands now, they felt like ice in his. He admired her brown eyes and how they sparkled from the light of his fireplace. "One more drink?" He asked, raising a hand to move a piece of hair behind her ear. 

"Ok." She whispered, and he smiled as he stood to go pour them yet another drink.

_"I ought to say no, no, no sir (mind if I move in closer?) At least I can say that I tried (what's the sense of hurting my pride?)_

"You're very pushy." She told him when he returned with their glasses. 

"I like to be think of it as opportunistic." He joked, raising his glass to tap it against hers. She eyed him curiously as he took a sip of his wine. There was something about him, something that made her want to stay, even though she knew it was smarter to leave. Something was changing that she knew shouldn't, they were starting to cross that line of professional acquaintances. 

He moved closer to her, looking into her eyes for permission, before pressing a kiss against her lips. Olivia opened her lips and allowed his tongue entrance into her mouth, her brain was telling her to stop, but the desire that was forming in her stomach was too much to deny. Without thinking, she swung her leg over so that she was straddling his waist. 

"They're gonna talk." She said breathlessly when his lips moved to her neck.

"Who's they?"

"People."

"They don't know anything." He said, going back kissing and biting at her neck. She still knew they shouldn't be doing this and yet she couldn't tell him to stop. "Let them." He added, and she finally stopped doubting this and let it happen, and when she woke in the morning, in his arms, regret was the last thing on her mind. 


	6. River

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure what to do for this chapter and then I got this idea and I ran with it. It's based on 'River' by Joni Mitchell, very different than the rest because it's a sad Christmas song. So this one is angsty, but this weekend there will be more fluff. I fell in love with this song when I heard Ben Platt sing it on The Politician on Netflix (such a good show!) Anyway, I hope you enjoy this! Happy Chanukah to anyone who celebrates!

_"It's coming on Christmas, they're cutting down trees. Putting up reindeer, singing songs of joy and peace."_

Rafael and Noah stood in the middle of the crowd, tons of people surrounding them for the lighting of the Rockefeller Christmas tree. Rafael had always wanted to go as a child, and while he didn't always like traveling to the middle of the city, this was something he wanted Noah to experience. The boy 'oohed' and 'ahed' from his place on Rafael's hip. He was getting bigger and Rafael didn't pick him up much anymore because of the protests from his back, but he wanted Noah to be able to see over the heads of people. 

The Metropolitan Opera Choir led the crowd in some Christmas songs. Rafael smiled as he listened to Noah singing along happily. "Papí look!" He exclaimed when they lit up the reindeer and angel statues that resided on the ice. 

_"Oh, I wish I had a river, I could skate away on."_

They had been planning this trip for weeks, before he and Liv's recent decision to get a divorce. They hadn't told Noah yet, but the decision didn't come as a surprise to Rafael, they had been going through a rough patch for a while, their relationship didn't feel like them anymore. When Rafael went to bed at night, he felt like he was sleeping beside a stranger. He knew it wasn't all her though, he had been abrasive lately, on edge with work, and he was short with her. 

So while Rafael wanted to enjoy this quality time with his son, he couldn't seem to focus on the wonders of the Christmas season when he knew that when they returned home tonight, they were going to have to tell Noah. They couldn't wait any longer. The papers were going through the next week, all they had to do was sign them, and then after that, he'd be moving back into his apartment. When he moved in with them he hadn't sold his apartment, but instead, rented it out. That saved him the hassle of finding a place to live once they were officially divorced. 

The more he thought about the impending divorce, the more he wanted to disappear. Skate away on the ice in front of him. He didn't want to lose Olivia, he didn't want to become that father that only saw his kid on the weekends. He wanted to kiss Noah goodnight every night, he wanted to help him with his homework. But he also wanted to kiss Olivia goodnight, and wake up beside her every morning. He knew he had messed up, but he still loved her. But it was too late now, so he took a deep breath and admired the way Noah wrapped his arms around his neck, cuddling under his chin. 

* * *

_"Oh, I wish I had a river so long, I would teach my feet to fly. Oh, I wish I had a river, I could skate away on. I made my baby cry."_

When the pair got back to the apartment, Olivia was sitting on the couch, obviously preparing how she was going to break the news to her son. Her eyes connected with Rafael, usually she would've smiled at the sight of his green eyes, but she didn't. "Noah, can you sit down, sweet boy?" He plopped down on the chair in the corner, sitting on his knees. Rafael could feel the headache coming on already, he pinched the bridge of his nose, as Olivia sat forward to start explaining. "Noah, you know your Papí and I love you, right?" He nodded. "Well, sometimes people fall out of love with each other. So, they decide to get what's called a divorce. Meaning, Papí and I won't be married anymore, and he's going to move out." She explained, figuring it was safer to spit it out and save them all the heartache of his in between questions.

Rafael tried to will himself out of the room when he saw the way Noah's lip quivered and the tears slipped down his cheeks. "Papí?" He asked, and Rafael nodded, swallowing his own tears that dared to fall. 

"You'll still see me, _mijo._ Just not as much. But I will always love you, Noah. Nothing can change that." He promised, opening his arms for his son as he ran over and hopped into his lap. Olivia watched as her son sobbed into Rafael's chest, and she felt like an awful person. She hated having to see her son this hurt, but she had to do what was best for her, and yet she wasn't certain she even knew what that was anymore. 

* * *

_"I'm so hard to handle, I'm selfish and I'm sad. Now I've gone and lost the best baby that I ever had."_

After putting Noah to bed, together, for the first time in a while, they retreated to the living room. "Are we doing the right thing?" She asked, looking over at Rafael. He laughed out of the pain in his heart.

"If you want me to confirm that we are, you probably shouldn't ask me that question." He admitted and she stared at him for a second. 

"Is it bad that I don't know what to do?" 

"Do what your heart tells you." He told her, moving into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of scotch. He wanted to drop the conversation and yet he knew this might be the last chance he got to tell her what was actually on his mind. "Do you remember last week when Noah asked us what the best present we ever received was?" She nodded, sitting on one of the bar stools. And for the first time in about a month, they were able to have a conversation. "I told him I didn't know. But I do, Liv. It's you. The best gift I ever got was you and Noah. And quite frankly, I'm not ready to lose that. I never will be, because I love you both. I know, I've messed up, but I want to try to fix us." 

Olivia was dumbfounded at his words, and finally in her mind, she was able to clear her thoughts. "I want that too." She stated, and he reached a hand across the bar, he took his outstretched hand and smiled up at him. 

"I promise to be the husband you deserve." He kissed her hand, and he was ok with being in the moment, he didn't want to disappear on a river. He was ready to spend Christmas with his family, and fix the brokenness that was his marriage. He believed in them. 


	7. Silver Bells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a nice fluffy one since it's been a few days since I've written some fluff! This is based off Silver Bells by Bing Crosby, a Christmas classic! As always, thank you for the kudos and comments, and enjoy!

_"City sidewalks, busy sidewalks, dressed in Holiday style. In the air there's a feeling of Christmas."_

Five days before Christmas, they decided to do some last minute Christmas shopping. Olivia wanted to find a gift for Lucy, Rafael still needed to find a gift for his mother, and Noah had a gift in mind for Rafael, and Olivia promised him they could get it. So together they strolled through Columbus Circle, stopping in different shops along the way to pick out gifts or just to window shop. Every store had a lot of people, rushing around in their coats, hats, scarves, and mittens to save themselves from the harsh winter weather.

"Can we stop in here?" Noah asked, stopping on the sidewalk and trying to drag Rafael into the toy store. Olivia looked in the window then at her boyfriend, shrugging. 

"Lead the way, mijo," Rafael said. Noah smiled and ran ahead into the store, Rafael and Olivia close behind him. Noah bounded around the store until he reached the Lego section. He looked at a few different sets before finding a Paw Patrol one and he gasped. 

"Rafa, look!" Noah exclaimed, pointing to the box. Recently, Noah and Rafael spent their time watching Paw Patrol together and building some of the sets Noah had. Legos had been at the top of his Christmas wish list (and the letter he sent to Santa), and that was they made up the majority of his presents, but Rafael hadn't known about this set, and he watched Noah's eyes light up when he saw it. He examined the box and then moved away from the Lego section to look at the stuffed animals.

Olivia followed her son, but realized that Rafael didn't. She knew exactly what he was about to do. "Rafa, don't. You already got him enough gifts." She tried to reason with him, she was so happy he loved Noah so much, but she knew everything he had gotten for the boy and she didn't want him emptying his wallet for them. 

"So what's one more?" He said, checking to make sure Noah wasn't looking, before grabbing the box and proceeding to checkout. Olivia shook her head and then went to go keep Noah occupied. Rafael paid for the legos then joined them at the front of the toy store. Luckily, Rafael was able to out the legos into one of the bags he was already carrying so that Noah wouldn't see the bag from the toy store. 

_"Children laughing, people passing, meeting smile after smile, and on every street corner you hear, silver bells."_

They continued their shopping trip, stopping in a clothing store where, with Olivia's help, Rafael found a few blouses for his Lucia, and one for Olivia, after telling her that it was for his mother. They passed more shops, but for a while they just walked down the street, enjoying the feeling of Christmas that the city provided. They smiled at people as they passed and she could hear the distant ringing of bells. 

Noah skipped between them, holding both of their free hands. Occasionally, Olivia and Rafael would glance at each other and swing the boy up on a count of three. Noah giggled each time and insisted they do it again. They stopped in a jewelry store and Olivia picked out a necklace for Lucy, then turned to Rafael. "I'm going to pay for this, do you want to go put these in the car and then reserve a table for us at Robert?" Olivia asked, gesturing to the restaurant across the street. She prayed he'd take the bait so that she could quickly find the watch that Noah had wanted to get him. 

"Of course. Booth or table?" He asked, taking the rest of Olivia's bags. 

"Booth!" Noah interrupted, and Rafael laughed, ruffling his curls. 

"Booth it is. I'll see you soon." Olivia smiled as he kissed her forehead and then Noah's. "Be good for Momma." He advised, winking at them both as he walked out of the shop. Once he was out of eye view, the pair made their way over to the glass case of watches, looking for the silver one that Noah had seen a commercial for. 

"Can I help you?" A woman asked from behind the counter. Olivia looked up and smiled at her. 

"Yea, we're just looking for a watch that my son saw on TV. It's silver and you can get engravings on the band?" Olivia explained, hoping the woman would know what she was talking about. 

"Ah, yes. Over here." She pointed to the watch at the front of the case. "Would you like to see it?" Olivia nodded and the woman pulled it from the case, setting it on the glass countertop. Noah stood on his tippy toes to look at it. The watch was beautiful, it looked just like something Rafael would wear, but this would have meaning. It was perfect. 

"That's the one." 

"And what would you like engraved?" 

"It's for my partner, one one side I'd like it to have his initials, R.B, and then on the other 'because I could watch you for a single minute and find a thousand things that I love about you.'" Olivia said, she had found the quote online one day, and it had immediately made her think of her Rafa. So she had written it down, hoping to find a way to incorporate it into his Christmas gift, and then when Noah told her about the watch and solidified her idea. 

"That's a beautiful quote. I'm sure he'll love it. It'll take about two days for it to be ready, so just leave your number and we'll give you a call when it's done." The woman explained and Olivia and Noah thanked her, paid for the necklace for Lucy, and then went across the street to meet Rafael. Olivia slid into the booth across from him while her son insisted on sitting next to Rafael. 

* * *

_"Silver bells, silver bells. It's Christmas time in the city. Ring-a-ling, hear them ring. Soon it will be Christmas day."_

On Christmas Eve, Rafael and Noah finished wrapping Noah's presents and placed them under the tree. "I think that's all of them." Olivia said, putting the wrapping paper into the hall closet and joining Rafael on the couch. He was stretched out, so she laid down nearest to the back of the couch, half of her body on top of his. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head right above his heart. "I love you." She whispered, as his fingers ran through her hair. 

"I love you, too," he promised. 

"I cant wait to give you your gift tomorrow." She said, smiling.

He hummed, "I have everything I need right here. Nothing can top you and Noah." Olivia stretched up and slotted their lips together. She pulled back and pressed a kiss to his chest. "Marry me." He said and even though the words took her by surprise, she didn't move, she just nodded against his chest, overwhelmed by the amount of love she had for this man. 

"Yes." 


	8. Mistletoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time writing teenage Noah, but I wanted to give it a shot. Noah's around 16 in this, and it's based off Mistletoe by Justin Bieber.

_"It's the most beautiful time of the year, lights fill the streets spreading so much cheer."_

Laughter filled the apartment as Noah came home from school, his girlfriend, Alyssa, with him. He three his back pack down by the door and toed off his sneakers. "Hey, dad." He said as he entered the kitchen where Rafael was cooking dinner. He opened the fridge and grabbed two water bottles, tossing one to his girlfriend. 

"Hi, Mr.Barba." Alyssa greeted, and Rafael turned around to greet them both. Noah had been dating the girl for about half a year now, he'd introduced her to Olivia and Rafael pretty early on, and they both loved her. It was obvious that Noah cared greatly for her so they tried not to embarrass him too much, of course the occasional baby picture was shown by Olivia. 

"Hey, I'll meet you in my room, I gotta talk to my dad real quick." Noah told Alyssa, kissing her cheek before she headed back to Noah's room. "Hi, Papí." Noah started, and Rafael immediately raised an eyebrow, much to Rafael's dismay, his son never called him Papí unless he wanted something. 

"What do you want?" He asked, stirring the stew that was on the stove.

"Alyssa's having a party at her house on Friday night, I was wondering if I could go?" Noah asked, leaning against the counter, looking at his father. 

"No." 

"What? Why?" He asked, obviously shocked, bit his father just let out a laugh. 

"Have you looked at your grades recently?" Rafael asked, setting the ladle down, and turning the burner down some so the stew could continue to cook. Noah shook his head as Rafael grabbed a few spices out of the cabinet. "You're failing three classes. We've talked about this, Noah, school always comes first. Failing is not acceptable and you know it. You're much smarter than that." 

"Dad, it's one night!" He countered. "Everyone else's parents are letting them go!" 

"Am I everyone else's parent?" Rafael asked, turning to look Noah directly in his eyes. The boy always buckled under his father's gaze, he knew he was no match for the former ADA, even if it had been years since he'd been in court. 

"No." Noah whispered, and Rafael nodded, returning to his cooking. 

"Tell you what," He started. "If you can get your grades up, I'll let you go to the party." Noah silently cheered. "As long as your mother agrees. Now go, your poor girlfriend is waiting for you. I'm sure you have homework to do." Noah leaned in and kissed his father's cheek, thanking him, and then running back to his bedroom. "Keep your door open!" Rafael called after him.

"I know, Papí!" He called back, and Rafael smirked to himself as he finished dinner. 

_"I don't wanna miss out on the holiday, but I can't stop staring at your face. I should be playing in the winter snow, but I'ma be under the mistletoe with you."_

Sure enough, Noah was able to get his grades up, so come Friday night, he put on an ugly Christmas sweater and grabbed Olivia's car keys. Noah only had his permit, so Rafael had to accompany him in the car. Rafael would then drive the car back home and then come back to pick Noah up later on. "If you crash my car, I'm kicking both of your asses!" Olivia told them as they left the apartment. 

"I'll be back soon." Rafael said, kissing her gently. Noah cringed as he walked out of the apartment, not bothering to wait for his dad. Olivia laughed and shooed her husband out the door so their son didn't decide to just take the car on his own. 

They made it to Alyssa's house without crashing Olivia's car, and Noah pulled the car on the side of the road, unbuckling his seat belt. "No sex, drugs, or drinking." Rafael reminded him as Noah got out of the car and Rafael came around to the driver's seat. 

"I know, you tell me everytime I go anywhere." 

"Only because I love you." Rafael promised, and Noah rolled his eyes. "Have fun."

He started the SUV again and headed back to their apartment. He pulled into the parking lot for the building, taking a breath as he thought about his life for a minute. It felt like just yesterday he was driving around New York, Noah in the backseat. And now, Noah was driving him around so that he could get all of his hours in before his driver's test in a few months. Rafael got out of the car and made his way inside.

His wife was reading a book on the couch, by the light of the Christmas tree. She looked up and smiled at him, "Is my car in one piece?" She joked as he sat down beside her, putting his legs up on the coffee table.

"He's growing up too fast." Rafael said, playing with a string on the hem of his sweater. Olivia set her book down and took her glasses off, giving her full attention to her husband. 

"He is. But what's got you upset." The creases in his forehead gave away his emotions. That, and the fact that Olivia just knew him far better than anyone else. She could always read him perfectly. 

Rafael looked over at her as she placed a hand on his thigh. "He just drove himself to a party at his girlfriend's house." 

"His very responsible girlfriend. Noah's a good kid and so is Alyssa. I talked to her parents and they've assured us that they will be facilitating a party." Olivia assured, rubbing his thigh comfortingly. 

"I know that, I just worry." 

"We've raised him well, Rafa. He's got a good head on his shoulders. And we've still got a few years to prepare him for the world. And I can say that he has the best father to teach him the ways of the world." Rafael smiled at her, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. 

"You're right."

"I always am." 

* * *

Across Manhattan, at Alyssa's house, Noah sat on her couch with two of their close friends. They were playing a game of charades, drinking glasses of sparkling cider. Noah and Alyssa were on a team, while their friends Ray and Celeste were playing against them. Alyssa drew a card from the stack and went up to the center of the room. She started prancing around and the whole room erupted into laughs.

"Um, chicken? Ghost? I don't know, bird?" He stammered, seriously confused. 

"Time's up!" Ray shouted, and Alyssa sat down next to Noah. 

"What in the world was that?" Noah asked.

"A ballerina! I was doing the moves you do in your dances!" Alyssa told him, and Noah shook his head. 

"If that's how I dance, my parents should get their money back." He said as Celeste stepped up for her turn. They finished off the game, Ray and Celeste were declared the winners, and then they all went to refill their drinks. Without realizing it, on their way back to the couch for a movie, Alyssa and Noah ended up under the mistletoe. Celeste pointed it out, and Noah smiled, leaning in to kiss his girlfriend softly. Noah's heart soared and he made a mental note to talk to his dad later. 

A few hours later, the movie was over and Noah received a text from Rafael, letting him know he was outside. Noah kissed Alyssa goodbye and waved to Ray and Celeste before heading outside. Noah got into the passenger seat, and Rafael raised an eyebrow, Noah was always jumping at the chance to drive. "You don't want to drive?" He asked, turning the key in the ignition, foot still on the brake in case Noah changed his mind. 

"I wanna talk to you and I don't want to be distracted." Noah admitted, and Rafael lifted his foot off the brake, checking the road for cars before slowly pulling away from the curb. "How did you know you were in love with Mom?" 

"You just know. She told me she was dating someone else and my heart broke, I knew in that moment, but I had loved her far before that, I had just refused to acknowledge it." Rafael told him truthfully. "You think you love Alyssa?" He asked, quietly, barely able to hear him over the sound of the car heater. 

"I like her a lot." Noah said, and Rafael patted his shoulder. 

"She's good for you." Rafael told him, and Noah was happy to hear that from his dad. He remembered being super nervous that his parents wouldn't like her, or that they'd be apprehensive about him dating someone, but from the start they had been super supportive, and had immediately welcomed Alyssa into their home. 

"Thanks, dad." 

"Anytime, mijo." Noah smiled at him before turning to watch the snow fall outside the window.

* * *

That night, Rafael climbed into bed behind Olivia, wrapping her in his arms. Noah had got him thinking about when he he fell in love with his now wife, and he had gotten sentimental. "I love you so much." He said, as she cuddled back into his embrace. 

"I love you, too. But what is this about?" She asked, turning around to face him. 

"Noah got me thinking, and I'm just so lucky to have you. I just sometimes wish that I knew you in high school. My childhood would've been so much more bearable if I'd had you." Rafael said as she traced her finger around the lines of his face. 

"You've got me now. I'll always be the one you meet under the mistletoe." 


	9. Love is Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I missed a few days, so I'm back with some fluff! This is based on 'Love is Christmas' by Sara Bareilles! This takes place in 2020 and our favorite couple has been quarantined together through the pandemic. Enjoy!

_"I don't care if the house is packed, or if the string of lights is broken."_

Christmas was a week away, and to say Olivia was stressed was an understatement. 2020 had obviously been a rough year, and it was catching up to her as she tried to get everything ready for the holiday. This was their first Christmas with Rafael and she wanted to make sure it was the best, and of course every little thing was bound to go wrong.

She cursed under her breath when she plugged the Christmas tree in, and none of the lights came on. The same lights had been used at the Benson household for years, but every year they had worked. "No, no, no." She muttered, as she unplugged the lights and plugged them in again, and still, no luck. "Damnit."

"Alright, what inanimate object are you cursing at now?" Rafael asked from his spot on the couch. Noah was in bed, and he was sitting back, watching CNN. Throughout their quarantine together, it wasn't uncommon for Liv to randomly curse at things that she couldn't control. She sighed, unplugged the string of lights, and stepped back from the tree. 

"These stupid lights don't work anymore." 

"You don't have another string?" He asked, trying to find a solution. He wanted to hold her, but knew she wouldn't allow herself to relax until everything was how she wanted it. 

Olivia shook her head, beginning to unwind the broken lights from the tree. "Now what do we do?" She asked, as she threw the lights away. 

"We have a tree without lights. Seems like an accurate representation of this year, if you ask me." Rafael said, with a shrug of his shoulders. She supposed there were worse things that could happen, so she decided not to worry too much about not having lights on the tree, it would still be pretty. And it's not like anyone would be seeing it. But that thought just gave her something else to be on edge about. She absolutely hated that they couldn't have people over for Christmas, she wanted Rafael to be able to see all of his family, she wanted to make sure this Christmas was perfect. 

_"I don't care if the gifts are wrapped, or there's nothing here to open."_

A few nights later, Rafael sat on the living room floor by the lightless Christmas tree to wrap Noah's presents. Olivia was at the hall closet, throwing stuff out as she tried to find the wrapping paper. "Liv, are you sure it's in there?" Rafael asked after she'd been searching the small closet for almost ten minutes. 

"Yes, this is where I always keep it." She groaned, throwing more things out of the closet. 

"Maybe you're out of it?" He offered, knowing that wasn't going to help in the slightest. Olivia groaned because she knew he was right. "Liv, it's fine. We've got plenty of newspaper. That's how Mami used to wrap all of my gifts when I was younger." He said, coming over to sit beside her on the floor. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his chest. Immediately he felt her tears stain his sweater. "Livia, mi amor, what's going on?" 

"I just want this Christmas to be perfect. I want you to have the best Christmas ever." She admitted as he hand soothingly ran up and down her arm. He pressed a kiss to her hair. 

"It already is." He promised, stroking her hair. "Love is not a toy, or whatever paper is on it. Love is the joy that I'm home. Here. With you both." 

_"I don't care if the carpet's stained, we've got food upon our table."_

The next time Olivia was seen angry about something was when she spilled hot chocolate in the living room. Just a few minutes ago she had been telling Noah to be careful with his, and now she was spilling hers. The brown liquid soaked into the carpet, and even after scrubbing for a while, the stain wouldn't seem to come all the way out of the white carpet. "We needed a new carpet anyway." Rafael said, setting the table for dinner. 

"That doesn't make up for the fact that I stained the carpet." She said, throwing the cleaning supplies to the side, and pushing herself to a standing position. 

"Nobody's going to see it." 

"We will." Olivia countered, sitting at the dining table. 

"We don't care, Momma!" Noah promised, sliding into his seat and waiting patiently for Rafael dish the food into his plate. As they sat around the table and ate, Olivia seemed to forget about all that had gone wrong. She still had her family with her, some people weren't as fortunate. A stained carpet, broken lights, and wrapping paper weren't going to ruin this for her. Rafael and Noah seemed happy and that was all she cared about. But there was one nagging thought at the back of her mind that somehow, if this Christmas wasn't perfect, she'd be failing the two people who meant the most to her. This whole year had taken its toll on her mental health, and this was just the icing on top of the cake. 

That night, Rafael was laying in their bed, waiting for Olivia to join him. She had said she was just going to load the dishwasher and run it, but that shouldn't take ten minutes. He rolled out of bed, slipped his slippers on and made his way out into the main area of the apartment. Olivia was on the floor again, scrubbing the stain relentlessly. The closer he got, he noticed the tears in her eyes. "Liv." She quickly wiped at her eyes before looking over at him. 

"Sorry, babe, I just wanted to try to get this out again. I'll put this away and then-". 

"Liv." He interrupted her rambling. "Come here." She walked over to him and allowed him to pull her body against his chest. "You've been so on edge, mi vida. Please tell me what's wrong." He pleaded softly, holding her close to him.

"I don't want to mess this up."

"What do you mean?" 

"This is your first year with us and I don't want it to be the last. So I need this Christmas to be perfect." She said, pulling out of his arms, gesturing around the room. "Everything has gone wrong." She sat on the couch, pulling her knees to her chest. He strode over and sat beside her. 

"Why are you so scared you'll mess this up, when perfect haunts you?" He asked, she looked up at him through her eyelashes. "My Abuelita used to tell me that Christmas isn't all of the material things that society has made it. Love is what makes Christmas. This house is full of love, so Christmas is already here." She fell against his side, breathing in his scent. "We've got each other and that's enough." 


	10. It's Just Like Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to write a few New Year's one shots that I'll add to this collection, but this will *probably* be the last Christmas one. This is based of 'Its Just Like Christmas' by Christy Altomare and Zach Adkins! This takes place during 2020 and our favorite couple has been in a long distant relationship for a few months. Enjoy this, and I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas or whatever you celebrate! ♡

_"Darlin’, Darlin’, I’ve been wondering. What’s all this Christmas time really about underneath all the glow?"_

He was supposed to be there with her. They were supposed to spend Christmas together. The plan was for him to get tested for Covid-19 before leaving Iowa, and then when that test came back negative he would come spend Christmas with her and Noah. What they hadn't planned for was what would happen if he were to test positive for the virus. He had been taking all of the proper precautions, always masked up, social distancing, always washing his hands, but as he worked close with other people who may not have been as safe, along the way he contracted the virus that had rampaged the world. 

When his test results initially came back he was skeptical to believe them. He hadn't had any symptoms and as far as he knew he hadn't been exposed to anyone who had the virus. So before he called Liv to let her know, he started googling about false positives, the only results were referring to people who had already had the virus and then afterwards tested positive again. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he pulled out his phone to call his girlfriend. As it rang, he looked around his room and his eyes landed on his packed bag, full of his clothes and presents for Olivia and Noah. 

"Hey, Rafa." Her voice came through his phone and he smiled. 

"Hey, Liv. I have some bad news." He started, she didn't say anything so he continued. "My test came back. It was positive. I have Covid." 

She gasped, "What? Are you ok? How are you feeling?" 

"I'm fine right now, but I obviously won't be able to spend Christmas with you. I'm really sorry, _mi amor._ " He said, and he was. They'd been long distance since he had taken her to dinner back in March right before the pandemic hit. Ever since, he would get tested every two months and make the trip to New York for a weekend. He'd returned to Iowa in September, with plans to return to New York for good at the beginning of November, after the election. But, when the president started spewing baseless claims of widespread election fraud as the reason he didn't win the election, Barba's team was called in to investigate the claims and even meet some of Trump's lawyers in court. To say Rafael was mad was an understatement. 

"No, Rafa. Don't apologize. I'm not worried about it, I'm worried about you. Take your temperature everyday, drink lots of water, and get lots of rest. And promise me that if you get short of breath or start to feel really bad, you'll take yourself to the hospital." She instructed, and he could hear the worry in her tone of voice. 

"I will, Livia. I'll be fine, ok?" 

"Ok, I love you, call me everyday." She advised, even though she knew he already did call her everyday. 

"Of course. I love you, too. Tell Noah I'm really sorry, but I'll make it up to him." Rafael said, laying back against his pillows. 

"Will do. Bye, Rafa. Get some sleep."

"You too." 

_"Is it a celebration of love for the people who share in your joy, in your pain? Well if that is true, there’s no need to explain."_

The next morning, December 21st, Rafael woke up with a sore throat, first symptom of Covid, he thought as he padded through his apartment and into the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. His apartment looked really bland. Since he hadn't planned to be there for the Holiday season, he had foregone putting up any Christmas decorations, and now that he was seriously needing some Christmas spirit, he wasn't sure where to find it. 

He sat on his couch, sipping his Cuban coffee (thankful he hadn't lost his taste yet), as he watched the news. The Covid numbers were rising as was the death toll. The numbers scared him, he knew this virus could kill, but he also knew he was in decent health, and he hoped he'd be ok. Little did he know, all the way in New York, his girlfriend was watching the same news channel and having the same thoughts. 

After he finished his coffee, he took his temperature, 98.7⁰, he was still in the clear. With that, he called Liv to update her. She, of course, worried more than he wanted her to when he told her of his sore throat, but he promised her that he was ok. They switched to Skype, and he could see the tears in her eyes. All he wanted to do was wrap her in his arms, and that was all she wanted him to do. 

_"Oh, but I been thinking about your smile, and_ _the way that your nose wrinkles up when you’re cold._ _Well, us growin’ old."_

The days passed and his symptoms did get worse. Never too bad, but some days were worse than others. It was Christmas day now, and as he curled in his bed, his temperature at 100⁰, used tissues beside him, he couldn't help but think that it felt nothing like Christmas, because Olivia and Noah made it feel like Christmas. He was hoping the Tylenol would kick in and not only his fever, but also his headache would subside. He coughed harshly, groaning as he rolled over to grab his glass of water.

His head was thudding and the incessant ringing of his phone was not helping, but he figured it was Olivia, so he forced himself to sit up and grab the phone. "Hey." He rasped out. 

"You sound awful, babe. Are you sure you're ok?" 

"Yea, it's just one of those days. I'm still breathing fine, and my fever isn't too bad. How's your Christmas so far?" He asked, refusing to ruin her Christmas by having her worry about it. 

"As good as can be without you here with us. Noah loved his gift, though." Rafael had immediately mailed the gifts he'd gotten for them so that they could open them on Christmas. "And I love my necklace, thank you." He had gotten Noah a few Lego sets and he'd gotten Olivia a locket.

"Of course, I miss you guys." 

"We miss you too, so much."

He laid in bed and listened to Noah and Liv tell him all about the snow that was on the ground in New York. Noah comically explained how he built a snowman and made snow angels that morning in Central Park. Rafael could imagine them having fun in the snow, he imagined Liv's smile and the way his nose would crinkle in the cold of winter. "I love you guys." He said randomly.

"We love you too, Uncle Rafa!" Rafael smiled to himself, those words would always be music to his ears.

_"And it’s like Christmas everyday, now_ _that I found you._ _Oh, it’s like Christmas even without the green_ _mistletoe."_

Later that night, after his Tylenol had finally kicked in and he'd spent an hour in a hot shower, he sat on his couch, feeling a lot better and skyped the Benson's. He waved when their faces popped up on his computer screen. He could see that Noah was decked out in a Christmas bedtime onesie with reindeers and Santa on it. "Ready for a bedtime story, _papito_?" Rafael asked, picking up the book he'd picked out. Noah nodded excitedly, and Olivia leaned back against the couch. "Alright, since I was feeling pretty bad last night and we couldn't read it then, tonight I'm going to read you 'T'was The Night Before Christmas' by Clement Clarke Moore." 

By the end of the story, Noah was curled against his mother, and Rafael felt a pang in his heart as he wished he could be with them. He told Noah goodnight, blew him a kiss, then hung up before they could see the tears that had made his way into the corner of his eyes. He missed them more than he could even express. So before he could stop himself, he found himself calling his health department to confirm how long he had to stay quarantined before he was Covid free. Ten days. He could see them for New Year. Rafael immediately booked a plane ticket, now in a way better mood.

_"We'll blow out our lights, and we turn off the Christmas tree, still stars burnin' bright, and I still have you here with me."_

On December 30th, Rafael received the call from the health department letting him know his quarantine period had officially ended. The same day, he received a call from his boss telling him that their work with election fraud was finally done since the electoral college had voted and confirmed Biden's win. Rafael packed up all of his things and the next morning he went to the airport, ready to be home again. 

He hadn't told Olivia that he was coming back, as far as she knew he was still quarantined in Iowa and she'd be alone on New Year's Eve. When he arrived in the city, he took a cab to Olivia's apartment, smiling the whole way underneath his mask. They stopped in front of the apartment building and Rafael grabbed all of his luggage, making his way inside. "Mr.Barba, feeling better?" The doorman asked. 

"Much, thank you." Rafael responded before getting into the elevator. He knocked on Olivia's door and waited for her to answer. "Surprise!" He said when the door opened. Olivia gasped and then threw her arms around him, making sure he was real. 

"You're ok?" She asked. 

"I am, I'm fine. Officially released from my quarantine... And my duties with election fraud." He said, and Olivia pulled out of his embrace, clearly surprised. 

"You're home? For good?"

"For good." 


End file.
